What a productive day, been doing so much practical stuff. The work never finishes in a Chateau, I´ll tell you that. Maybe that’s why I love being here. Always something to do.
People tell me that I´m body confident, but I´m not so sure. Or, well. Maybe. I would rather say that I just don´t care about what others might think. In my opinion that doesn’t mean that I´m full of body confidence. Sometimes I wish I had a more leaner and slimmer body. There is so much pressure out there and it´s impossible to not be affected. I would love to wear a loose and long dress without looking like a sack, haha. Having hypothyroidism have forced me to accept my body as it is. I´m done with looking down on myself and I can´t say that enough.
About 1 year ago, I weighed 10 kg less then what I do now. At that time I was struggling with heartbreak, I basically just starved myself. It also became an addiction to not eat, especially when the person connected to my heartbreak would notice that I wasn’t eating. Somehow, that was the only way I felt I could get closer to this person. I fed on it. I was so lost, and stupid. The combination with not eating much and working 12 hours shifts made me so unhealthy. I´m so grateful for not being in that state anymore. I guess you have to go through something bad to learn what’s good for you.